WHAT I’M WEARING: NEON ROSE DENIM KIMONO JACKET, ZARA BLACK FLARED TROUSERS,
MINELLI STRAPPED BLACK HEELS, MINI RED CHANEL BAG & EMMANUELLE KHANH SUNGLASSES
It’s feels like ages since I last posted, it was Monday which isn’t long at all but the beginning of this week feels very faraway. And if I’m honest, there is a distant I’m keeping, not consciously but accidentally so because I’m unsettled and confused, a duo of emotions that have found home in all pockets of my life, it seems. From my too blonde hair to this blog and even my boyfriend, all hazy and clouded in a way that has kept me away. I can’t seem to get anything right and I know we all have days like this – but its been over a week and I need that line back, where things are clear and straight. But here I am, stuck in another scribble – there have been many and there will be many more – and its just for now; drinking too much coffee, reading mean things on instagram, crying on the bathroom floor after midnight, fearing my boyfriend will break up with me and wondering how this mood will unfold into a bigger, brighter one. I feel small and immature, humbled by the doubt and the toxic thoughts that too intensely swell and blur the days because now its Friday and I have no idea where this week went, what I did and where it will go. I feel messy and tired of the mess. Alone but yearning for the quiet that usually comes with being lonely. And apologetic because I have no fun story to share, no positivity to inspire – just a mood, a blip, so erratic its left me without energy. I’m sorry but as always, faithfully yours – every story has scribbles and today all I can do is tell you one of mine.
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