what i’m wearing: neon rose military pyjama shirt, neon rose military wide leg trousers, balenciaga clutch bag, zero uv aviators, pretty little thing khaki fedora & primark sneakers
Recently? The only relaxation I’ve managed to squeeze in is between the time I spend asleep and the few minutes in the morning before I manage to stumble to the Nespresso machine. And yes, I know someone as anxious as me should not be prioritizing coffee, and yes, I have heard the advice before and no, I’ve not yet managed to quit the latte wave that defines my day. Funnily enough, I am usually very capable of keeping my anxiety sealed off in silence. People have always commented on how absolutely unfazed I can be. Worrying about everything is worrying in itself; my skin protests with blemishes, the dark half moons under my eyes threaten to eclipse entirely, I often forget to eat and it can feel almost impossible to settle down to sleep. How unhealthy. I do realize it is rather repetitive for millennials to complain of anxiety and yet it is a curse we all seem to tackle alone. So I wanted to say if you feel it, don’t worry I do too.
Culminating this week when I tried my first and last attempt at eyelash extensions. An anxiety unlike anything I’ve ever experienced ; sitting there, sweating with my eyes sealed shut? All the stress I’ve shoved away surfaced in those very slow 90 minutes. I’d say my vanity needs a stern scolding because that was a ridiculous endeavor and shamefully, entirely self-inflicted. So yes, I’ve been stressed, the eyelash fiasco was simply where it manifested most acutely. Perhaps, I’ve been too absorbed in my work but mostly; preparing for Paris. The yearly September return has come again and this time tomorrow I’ll be sitting in a little flat close to the great lady Eiffel herself. My work schedule has never been so ambitious. Those of you who follow along on snapchat know all too well of my suitcase struggles. 70 kilos of shoes, hats and clothes of all kinds for photography projects which will see my assistant and I all running over the city. I’ve never had so much work to tackle at once ; and proud as most of these projects I pitched and signed myself. There will also, ofcourse be sneaky trips to favourites like Diptyque and Merci, dinners with friends that inevitably involve too much bread, awkwardly loitering around at blogger events wondering if anyone will talk to me, spontaneous stops to Haleigh’s house, a jaunt or two down Bir Hakeim for an Eiffel picture and so on. Ofcourse, I’ll be taking you with me every step of the way. I’m excited and nervous, but mostly excited.
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