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my favourite company is my own; just the waves of the sea & me
what i’m wearing: wallis black chiffon maxi dress,
wallis black leather sandals & wallis hoop earrings
A dress that drapes like curtains, rocks unpredictable enough to fall on and a misty, mysterious sea that stretches to white. These are the sorts of things I love – and I will always return to them. ‘Things change. And friends leave. Life doesn’t stop for anybody’ (if you know who wrote that quote, I adore you)- but the Spanish slice of the Mediterranean and a dress draped over my body – these sorts of things will always be mine to have – they are untouchable by time, resistant to the pressing on of life – and I don’t need anything but my two feet to cherish them. This year, I’ve spent a lot of time alone, I sort of wandered off from my social life, ran away from relationships with men and forgot a lot of the people I only slightly knew. Work has kept me at home, away from the world – but it’s more than that, it was a purposeful isolation – I just didn’t realize it was intentional until months later, until now. You see, I needed to veer off, around a corner on my own. I’ve never been single for more than a spell, but May marks 6 months since my last boyfriend. As for friends, I invest where I see fit, mostly in people I’ve known for years and a few curious souls I’ve met spontaneously along the way. Looking back, I channeled so many of my anxieties into other people, jumping from bad boyfriend to awkward breakup to the next boyfriend. Collecting friends as if they were books – except I never so much as lifted the cover on them. Surrounding myself with people was a habit, a vice in a way, an escape from myself. And at 26, I can proudly say my favourite company is my own – I am all I really need. There are friends’ hands to hold when life rolls tough – but ultimately, I have me. I am enough. And so I like to see these photos, by the sea, dramatically swaying in the breeze… as somewhat of a personal affirmation. That might sound ridiculous to you, but I’m proud to carry the weights of my world all on my own. It was something I needed to learn how to do. It was something I never could have done before. And I am happy I have found interminable bliss like these beaches I run to whenever I can. And so I leave you with this; find yourself, find your own sacrosanct spots on this earth – and return to both with cyclical devotion. Its a motion you must find and I know you will, we all do because our own bodies, our own places – they are our lifeline.
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