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a blue print, a blueprint

Tuesday, June 30, 2015

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A blue print, a blue door, a blueprint

the life plan that sketches itself as we push on

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A blue print, a blue door, a blueprint. A plan or similarly, a detailed outline… with life as the house and days as the rooms that stretch and wrap back into each other, infinitely, consistently…confusingly. We as the architects of this thing we live in called life. Inhabitants and creators all at once. A blueprint for life, a sketch you roll out every so often, usually across a table too cluttered at a time of night too late and there you will hover and your eyes will wander in circles through this house where the rooms feel cold with unfinished plans. You might hear an echo billowing through unfurnished intentions that loiter, or experiences so big and so rich, crowded high in the dust of a good time. And the carpets half rolled out lead to pursuits that never were or boyfriends that could have been. Frames hang empty all walls from the trips you are yet to take or the babies you feel you should be having.

There might be a lively living room messy with half finished glasses and piles of empty bottles of wine from all the parties you had with curtains drawn tight for the many hangovers you suffered. Or a room spilling with clothes and books, strewn and stacked precariously as the passions you pursued. There will be rooms too full, rooms half empty and rooms so lonely, you sprint right through them and out the backdoor to the garden for the relief of fresh air… I guess this is my life blueprint, the days on this earth I have so far lived in, scattered with the hopes and doubts for the ones to come. I guess we all have one, a plan of some sorts -a blueprint that loosely sketches itself as we push on, rooms lead to new rooms, there are renovations and restorations of all kinds, quiet dissapointments staring out of our window sills but ultimately four walls cushioning the life we have.

So roll your own out from time to time and memorize it all, every unpainted wall, every empty corner, every crumbling doubt but also the clusters of love and collections of accomplishment that fill other spots; the stains of adventure and the cosy corners we come back to time and time again. It’s a layout of your life, and life is always more than one thing – it’s a dozen or so rooms that are all yours and they are unending. Whatever happens to you belongs to you – find home in your experiences. They are your refuge. And, this life we have? This thing we live through? It’s a blueprint of scattered but momentous occasions that clutter, echo and cling to us. It’s all we have, this sketch, this plan…half-finished and half-lived. I hope you revisit yours, I hope you walk through your own rooms to seek and stare and study all that you have, all that you wish for and all that is yet to come. All of these wonderful and not so wonderful things contained within the four walls of your life, without this blueprint, there is nothing at all.


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