WHAT I’M WEARING: LITTLE BLACK DRESS ANGELINA DRESS
I felt a great deal of self placed pressure to write something beautiful for the new year, a paragraph strong with resolve, a lyrical foundation you could use as a base to build upon for your own next set of 365 days. That was what I hoped to write. But this loose and painfully grandiose idea I had, it smashed right into me and I failed. Every sentence I strung together felt cliched and uncomfortable to me. I refuse to feed you sugary quips about what you should be doing or changing or altering to better yourself for 2016. I am damn sick of the internet telling me how every aspect of my life should be lived. I won’t participate. As for what I’ve learnt this year, I think that would be redundant, I’ve done all I can this year to mark my tiny internet presence as a writer, sharing what I’ve learnt as I have learnt it all year long. It is somewhat a tradition for me to slip on a mask for NYE, I adore masquerade, hiding ourselves can be a release in itself. However, there is a slightly more daunting release I want to bring to light here, and one so rarely depicted online; death. The simple facts of: I will die. You will die. Our days are numbered. Yet, so often we exist under a duvet of delusion, sleepily believing we will live forever. Forever is by far the worst word in the English language, it promises something that can never ever be. Alongside it’s synonyms, it is the lexicon of a lie. We aren’t evermore nor permanent. Forever makes us forget, helps us skip over the fact that every day gone is one closer to the end. Perhaps I’m being too aggressive and this might make you anxious but it is a truth so many of us neglect. It seems instinctual for us to ignore. And we all need to stop beating around the bush when it comes to the undeniable fact that our hearts will stop beating. I hope you choose to confront death, I hope you decide to keep it close like a note in the pocket of your coat. Because embracing our inevitable end is a beautiful way to live. It is life’s greatest incentive. One chance with limited time. This is not an interminable story, your chapters will run out. So fuck NYE resolutions. Screw gluten free or the 6 am runs or whatever other form of punishment you promise yourself for 2016. Sincerely, SCREW IT. I say, walk into 2016 with the courage to remember death. Keep it close and always in sight. This will help you live the way you should, it will push and propel you forwards, it will create the story your life deserves. Don’t put off the things you seek, we don’t have time to procrastinate when it comes to living life. This is it, all we get. So here’s to the year we will only have once, 2016 – I hope you clutch at all your dreams and go wild with your whims. I wish you a story rather than a ‘one day’. Go out and grab at this great big globe before it goes away. Does this scare you? Are you unsettled? I don’t care, if you forget, you need to remember. I’ll happily be the only girl online to remind you that you will one day die, and what better time than between 2 years when we say hello but also goodbye? This it darling, all we get, there are no rewrites or redrafts for this tale in our bones and blood. And so, take heed and embrace life with its speed, that isn’t slow but faithfully too fast. Stop sweeping days away like dust; they are gold, they are everything and all we have. And so, all I can say, all I can hope is that you walk into 2016 with wild vigour and absolutely, fiercely; no regret. This is it darling, one life, one great big day at a time, this is all we get.
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