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twenty sixteen: hopes

Monday, January 4, 2016
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Resolutions, if I’m frank, I don’t need the beginning of a year as a prompt. I wake up every morning with a million ridiculous resolutions, most of which are entirely forgotten by lunch. But they do hover, carrying themselves from one day to the next, floating around like a ghost.  So for 2016 I wanted to simplify, narrow these resolves down, evaporating the urgency, deleting the exclamation mark that so often accessorizes these aggressive resolutions we shout at the beginning of the year. And so mine are floaty and strange and whimsical; not at all strict or tailored in their typical way. I have rarely been capable of rules. So here’s to 2016, here’s to rambling and ambling along rather than self-imposed sternness to start the year and here’s to my strange list of random whims I hope to see surface in twenty sixteen.  But before you read mine,  just know, I hope so much for you. I could explode with the hope I have for us all. I have incredible enthusiasm for the next chapter here, and you. I really like you.  You probably have no idea how much I like you, so from an anti-social girl with a question mark for a mouth, here is one certainty; YOU. Here we are, as always, together. 8 years of my words, my photos, your eyes and a thousand inspirations between. And just like last year and the one before, I love you. I am strangely certain that this round of life will be great, even if we toss every resolution to the wind, even if we pick up a dozen bad habits, date all the wrong men and spend more time lost than found, still, I have so much hope for you and me. And so, hope is really my only rule, to keep this sentiment straight, strong and alight. Fierce in my belief there is more and better for us all. I have so much hope for both me and you. So, read my list, make your own, toss it to the wind  if you’d like. Or don’t. Whatever we do or don’t, we must keep trying and stay strict to our hope. I have so much hope for you and I hope you have a handful for me too.

(my twenty sixteen hopes)

Compile a notebook with the five favourite quotes from every book I read, loosely memorise these in hopes they reflect into my own writing.
 Seek out creative ways to increase my protein intake without the abuse of animals, which essentially equates to: find more ways to eat nuts.
Abstain from shopping for things I will soon forget, such as another pair of black suede pumps or a trench quite like the other six I have. I am too sensible to shop in this way. I should probably stop shopping entirely but will instead promise a smarter approach.
 Search out ways to mark my online space different, refuse pressure to produce typical content yet generate generous income.
 Return to Rome and see my friends who are all now living under the same roof.
 Indulge my wonders as they arrive in my mind, such as tap dancing or calligraphy or shopping for strange doorknobs at dusty antique stores.
 Dedicate only 10 minutes a day to my physical appearance, avoid wasting another minute attempting to curl my hair. It doesn’t curl. Go lighter on the lipliner.
Push open my perspective when it comes to men, right now it’s a door half shut. I need to keep it wide open but install an escape window. This is the only way possible to find love or so I  believe.
 Stop worrying about how good my flat lays look and stop wondering when the selfies will stop. These things are too little to give time to.
 The earth will not stop spinning if I gain a little weight. My heart will keep beating too. Shockingly this sphere does not on pivot on the number displayed on my bathroom scale. Get over it, eat a little more bread maybe.
 Go back to Provence, perhaps and preferably with my dear Haleigh, rent a flat for a week on Lake Como and eat a pretzel with my brother who lives in Berlin. Kiss a tanned man on a boat this summer in a cheap white dress.
 Spend a few days this summer finding Bobo, the name of my second dog I have not yet adopted. He’s waiting for me.
 Find my way back to the poetry I learnt at University, Keats and Coleridge and all those regal men. Study it, recite it like a song, stick the verses I don’t understand on my wall.
 Inspire and help women in anyway I can. Begin volunteering, starting with dressing all the quirky homeless ladies  who I talk to on the streets.
 Drink less coffee, drink more coffee. Worry less about potential stains on my teeth.
 Reserve caring for the things that deserve care. Potentially get this permanently etched on my retinas to avoid forgetting.
 Stop binge thinking – quite like eating but instead of calories, I tend to digest worries and anxieties. I must stop this rather immediately.
 Keep a book of ‘interesting things’ and add to it daily and diligently so; from quotes that resonate to the way a man’s eyes look to something strange that happened to me.


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