WHAT I’M WEARING: BOUX AVENUE CHLOE WHITE LACE PLUNGE BRA & WHITE CHLOE LACE SHORTS, BLACK LUCIE LACE BLACK TRIANGLE BRA & CHLOE LACE BLACK SHORTS, DANIELLA NAVY BLUE BALCONETTE BRA & DANIELLA LACE NAVY BLUE SHORTS & BLACK LACE TEDDY
I’ve been wearing Boux Avenue lingerie & swimwear all summer so far, so it was an honour to creatively collaborate with the brand. I appreciate their incredible range in sizing, their pieces really flatter women with bodies of all kinds. I genuinely do recommend the brand, after struggling for so long this season to find pieces that fit right, theirs are a dream. And to celebrate our collaboration, I have a discount code for you ; ‘FRASSY20’ for 20% off.
I love lingerie, in my younger twenties, I had just 2 bras. Financially and mentally, my underwear was more of an afterthought, usually as I caught a reflection of myself in the mirror to realize ‘No, I absolutely have to wear a bra with this’. Bras were about as enticing to me as tights are now, and you know, I detest tights and will always refuse to wear them. But as I aged, acquired some eye crinkles and carved my own quiet definition of sexuality, lace and lingerie became a love. They are sexy and all of us as humans want to feel sexy. Anyone that says otherwise is lying. It’s the equivalent of claiming you aren’t ever hungry, they are both life rituals and we have a undeniable appetite for both. And while I wear lingerie for myself intrinsically, I do believe how a woman feels sexually is heavily influenced by the man she’s with and the sex she has had in her life. I’ve spent entire chapters of my life cowering in shyness, affirming I am the least attractive woman and those thoughts were braided with men in my life. It will always seems strange to me that men, far more zealously sex driven than women, so often seem incapable of making the woman they are with feel confident and sensual. In fact, usually and so often, sex is an entirely uncomfortable topic amongst females, a fact I feel determined the global popularity of ’50 Shades of Grey’. If only we could talk about sex as seamlessly as we do about shoes and I mean that entirely in a Samantha from Sex and The City way. Why can we share a great or a terrible meal we had at a restaurant but cannot confess the same detail about a sexual experience? They are both an appetite. Why is it taboo? And why does such a taboo exist within such an overly sexualized society? We all stay hush, our sex is a secret and then screens all over the world incessantly stream fake, vile portrayals of everything sexual we don’t talk about as women. It makes me sad that women can’t affirm ‘I like sex’ in the same way they can say, ‘I like food’ because we all enjoy both. Secrecy breeds discomfort, discomfort creates dissatisfaction and there we stand in the mirror abhoring the reflection shining back. We shove all of society’s problems onto our own shoulders and thus begins the self-hate spiral. Honestly I believe the best way to ‘be sexier’ is to be confident in the fact you enjoy sex. Don’t let a man define your sexuality and fiercely ignore every damn thing you see on a screen. Have the courage to talk candidly with your closest friends about your sexual experiences, speak up about sex, the type of sex and the people you enjoy having sex with. There needs to be more of a conversation but also an inner appreciation for the sexuality that exists within us all intrinsically. If you eat food, you like sex, and if you like sex, you are sexy. It really is that simple. So, go clean the house, read a book or stand in front of a mirror in your prettiest lace and tell yourself exactly that, you are sexy. Because you are, we all are.
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