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in flux

Monday, January 15, 2018

Easily, I get caught up in the more rigid facets of life; deadlines, goals, saving money. These are important but they stagger the flow that life can be. While, in no way will I abandon my routine, I have realized more than ever how quick life goes and the experiences that come without planning, unexpectedly are always the most sacred. Not the mortgage nor the career or that ‘huge’ work opportunity . Various times throughout 2017, I found myself in situations the universe delivered to me, by some unplanned, cosmic force, there I was. And looking back,they are what I hold onto most tightly from the year past.  And more recently, when the rest of the world was frantically announcing 2018 resoultions and marching back to work with a vigour I couldn’t muster, I found myself in the south of Spain sitting on an empty cove at dusk with a stranger and I thought, this is what I want my life to be full of, more than anything else, moments that spin from nowhere, spontaneously. Later that evening, we dragged a duvet out into that winter night and the sky was full of stars, it was magic. A week prior I didn’t so much as know this person’s name and yet there we were. Simple experiences like this make me remember to forget the pressure society hurls at us relentlessly. How quickly we underestimate the power of serendepity, instead choosing to believe we exclusively hold the authority to choose what happens. I want to keep myself open to the world’s weird ways of conjuring all that is beautifully accidental. I never craved  a life well planned out. Uncertainity does not scare me, what terrifies me is too much of the same; a path ahead already paved. I find incredible peace knowing that next year I could be living somewhere entirely different surrounded by people who right now are strangers. I believe magic happens outside the constraints of goals and ambitions and yet we almost entirely prioritze the latter. I’d rather not be here on earth than have a life that never changed. I’d have nothing to write about, nothing to fill my heart with, and that’s what these chance events do, they fill me in a way nothing else ever has. They boost this one chance I get at a life.  I hope to stay open to the world, to simply exist as often as I can ; to release the reigns and make room for a life in flow, of flux ; whenever and however it may come.


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