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here i am, i'm still here

Wednesday, January 24, 2018
24 days into 2018

Well friends, the end of January is here. I took a lot of time off to begin the year, only starting work mid-month. I’ve already managed to take the emergency contraceptive pill, meet another man, spill hot coffee all over white clothing not once but three times. Three is also the amount of times I’ve had to frantically and repetitively text a friend to analyze a non-crucial yet crucial minor event. I’ve cried lying on the floor listening to Dermot Kennedy and more than once. I’ve successfully paid a few bills a little too late. BUT a new Prada wallet is now part of my life. I’ve been back at the gym with addict vigour, only to recently find out it’s closing down. So a new gym I’ll have to find and I’m foolishly nervous about this. Or perhaps I’m just nervous about men. I spent all of 2017 as a Samantha and these days I’m verging on spinning 360 into a Charlotte. What is happening to me? I’m a mess in all the usual ways, dressed up well to distract you because here I am, embarking on another year as a fashion influencer. A title too heavy for me to carry but I’ll try to sling it around my shoulder as I amble through all the adventures and mishaps I know are on their way. Oh and my book, I’m trying…trying harder than I ever have before. I’m dreaming of having samething bound with my name on it before my 30th birthday. I’m also trying to finally launch a new venture of mine and yet there doesn’t seem to be time to manage my current employment alongside other crucial, annoying tasks like matching clean socks, sleeping, washing my hair, ensuring my home is actually liveable etc. I will say this though, I’m happy. A very happy mess. I’m sick of all the perfect personalities here online so more than ever, I want to share all the chaos that so easily slides right up into my life. If disaster was a tinder profile, we’d match and get married. But I never wanted a calm life, so let’s have it disaster, you and me, we will surely stick together through this last year of my twenties, 2018. I’ll wear a myriad of incredible clothes I’m sure but everything else? Mayhem. Oh so much mayhem, really you have no idea.

what i’m wearing: boohoo wool coat, pretty little thing knit co-ord,
missguided cream thigh high boots, zerouv glasses & vintage fendi bag


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