WHAT I’M WEARING: KAREN MILLEN MAXI DRESS, OBISTUDIO ESPADRILLES VIA WOLFLAMB,
LACK OF COLOR CREAM OVERSIZED FEDORA & KAPTEN & SON VENICE SUNGLASSES
There really isn’t anything more enticing to me than love and sex. We as women especially seem to savour these topics, over coffee or wine or with 2 heads on one towel at the beach. I don’t enjoy rambling about these sorts of things with the man I love and yet it’s an endless conversation with my best friends. A week or so ago, I read some online commentary on my love life, it’s no secret that women enjoy speculating on stranger’s romantic lives too, but to see mine discussed at length was a strange sensation. Earlier this year, I dragged myself through a toxic relationship until I hit the hard resolution of avoiding another emotional commitment at all costs. It was the brink of summer’s beginning and I quite enjoyed the idea of sailing through the season single with men for fun along the way. But unexpectedly and at the height of my pessimism, I met Enrique. On our second date, coincidentally Biba’s birthday, he brought her a bag of birthday presents. She chewed on a new bone while we awkwardly ate Udon. But it wasn’t until he went away for a week to London that I realized this man wasn’t simply for fun . Yet, I resisted the emotion for months ; the bruises from my winter relationship were still purple and I was half expecting him to turn around and stop texting me anyway. But he’s still here and here I am too and I know it seems like I hopped from one man to another, in a way I did but there was much doubt and hesitation between. It’s not a phobia of being alone, I didn’t date for an entire year to learn how to be alone but happily so. Enrique was simply life happening while I was looking the other way. I wasn’t searching for him even when he was standing right in front of me. These days I do his laundry and he makes me dinner. There is a calming rhythm in the space where our lives now overlap. He is easy and he was easy to fall in love with, despite the inner torment I still slided right into love with him. I’ve been deserted too many times for faith in fairytales, I won’t say we will forever be, but here’s what I’ve learnt; love is a very floaty thing and it usually comes unexpectedly like a breeze. And looking for wind is practically an impossibility, you have to wait ; it comes when it comes and when it does, it’s best to let it take you away because it will always go away. And why fear a floaty thing? We too quickly shy away from emotion, but feelings are flimsy and like the wind too in that they ondulate, arrive, leave and always change. So, with my pessimism simply as a shadow behind me and with a man better than any I’ve ever met, I say embrace the people that drift your direction. They very well could spin into perfection. You’ll never know if you say no.
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