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WHAT I’M WEARING: PRETTY LITTLE THING WHITE LACE MAXI DRESS, PRETTY LITTLE THING CREAM LACE UP ESPADRILLES, RAYBAN AVIATORS, CARTIER LOVE BRACELET & YSL ARTY RING
I’ve not been doing so well recently, not that you’d notice because I haven’t written anything of any depth lately. I just didn’t have it in me to outpour all the crazy things I turn over in my head. It’s been a relentless two months of work, which is why I am here today, back at home in the South of Spain instead of Greece. I abandoned my expensive plane tickets purely because I lacked the energy it takes to be a tourist. The adventure of exploring a new country? I couldn’t face it. I was too tired. I ran myself down to zero, and from there I stumbled into a quick decline to minus ten. I broke a little. I burnt out. I worked too hard and worried too much. It is a strange sensation to not have anything to give. Feelings would flow through me but I lacked the energy to physically express the emotion, or any emotion ; other than a hideous cocktail of boredom and exhaustion.So here I am, between two Pomeranians and a mountain I know better than the back of my hand ; and I feel better, I feel relieved. The sun is melting in these photos and I am too. Everything feels softer outside of the city, soothing and kinder. For a few more days, I’ll be resting, all the while looking forward to a very busy month ahead. I won’t lie, I’m dreading the return to Barcelona and the crammed schedule that sits on my desk. I feel stuck in the city and trapped behind a screen; truthfully, it’s a hole of unhappiness for me. But ultimately, all this effort? It’s ticking upwards to what I call my great escape: a home in the countryside, hopefully on an island where I can wake up and more quietly be. There will be dogs, vegetables to grow and goats. I cannot wait. An escape longer for a week, an escape that extends years and years; yes, that is my vacation affirmation that I thought I’d share with you today. And it’s everything I’m working towards.
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