You do not, as a woman have to choose between beauty or intelligence. Now, I insist you write that down somewhere and stick it on your fridge or bathroom mirror immediately, yes right now. But you must prioritize one and it shouldn’t ever be your face. We cannot allow men or the media to convince us that attractiveness is what defines us. I have seen plenty of beautiful women living absolutely empty lives, working jobs they hate for little money and with brains they never thought to cultivate. If prettiness is everything, tell me, where did it get them? Being beautiful is a hollow compliment and while I advocate for clothes and makeup, expensive balayage and so on… I do not place these as the pivotal focus of my life and nor should you. I cannot sit still and nod while I watch a man puff his chest as he clumsily tries to explain something I already know in a tone he would never use with his guy friends. I will never dumb myself down because I’m sitting across from a person with genitalia different than my own. I will always spend more money on books than makeup. Being an awkwardly shy late bloomer encouraged within me, an incredible advantage.
You see, I believed I’d always be ugly and men would never enjoy me, so I defined another strength that was boundless and gratifying; my brain. At 28, I read more books than anyone I know and I still marvel at how many men want to date me. They even follow me down the street with foolish smiles on their faces, they give me free coffees or muffins, they stop traffic to ask me my name… I always make sure to nod at my high school self when these things happens. I can see her, in the darkest corner of the school library, with plugs shoved in her ears for silence, head buried in a book with mountains of binders and notebooks piled in a semi circle around her as a shield. And yet these men that pursue me? They mean nothing; their words and ridiculous compliments are a waste of oxygen in my direction. Because really, all it confirms is that these men like what they see. What value does that have?
I question men’s vision entirely, not because I don’t think I’m pretty but because they favour the most questionable of things. These men don’t care that I’m amply, financially independent or that I speak multiple languages or that I have enough books to build entire walls. They see my derriere in a pair of leggings and like a fool, smirk a lazy hello at me. They don’t appraise what I’ve built my self-pride on and the most discouraging aspect of all this? Even men I’ve slung a shot at, given a chance? They don’t either, or at best, they believe it to be enticing in the beginning but with time, it dissolves into contempt. I’m too much of all the wrong things and lacking of the simple, boxed traits they expect women to have. I cannot even count how many men have called me ‘superficial’ because I, as an entrepreneur hustle for my money. How ironic to be called superficial when it is them that are the culprits of this accusation? And so, allow me to leave you with this thought, in order to convince yourself that being pretty is utterly secondary, you must teach yourself the foolery of men.
Question their views. Society has twisted and tricked us into viewing men as the authoritative, smarter sex. I beg to differ. I, for one know myself to be much smarter than all the boyfriends I’ve ever had. Every woman I call a friend is also absolutely more intelligent than their partner. Men’s priorities are confused and most have yet to evolve from when we all lived in caves. And yet, being beautiful, ultimately equates to attracting many men. But why would we as women want that, when most of them seem so mislead? Foster a brain bigger than your boobs, most men will fail to appreciate this; perhaps you’ll find a gold one, I do believe they exist. However, ultimately, aim to be pretty but aim higher to be smarter. Basing your of self-worth on what men think will ultimately lead you nowhere, in fact you’ll end up as clueless as them. Be pretty, but please, above all else, be smarter.