a professional end of year vow alongside henry london
Influencer. It’s a funny word, right? And yet it’s an industry I work in, and yet most days I feel absolutely undeserving of such a title. I wear pretty clothes, many of which arrive on my doorstep free of charge, and between the outfits, I verbalize the emotional mess my life so solidly is. I am clueless and yet so many influencers seem so sure, giving out thanks like they are stood on a podium for an award. Sit down woman, you wear clothes on the internet, check yourself. While I will never stop sharing here, I am at a point where less than ever do I care about what every other girl under the influencer umbrella is doing. In fact, while the majority are agonizing over ways to increase follower count, I’m over here with crumbs on my sweater wondering if the colours in my photography could be ‘finetuned’. The outlet I love so much has been suffocated into a numbers game, it doesn’t much matter what’s expressed but how many interactions it generates and that in turn, rolls out a pretty penny. Blogs and words are being abandoned, quality photography is being replaced with ‘cool’ grainy iphone filters and let’s not forget that there are vlogs that go on about nothing for 20 minutes, everyone but me seems excited about whatever ‘vlogmas’ is. I sound judgemental but really I barely spend enough time online looking at what other people are producing to form a judgement of any kind, I’m simply getting older meanwhile the influencer sphere feels more and more like high school. Nope, no thanks.
While I love my job, it is a love that comes from a very self-centric place. I don’t love this industry but I do love my tiny space within it. I’m not interested in blogger events or meet-ups, it baffles me why these women meet up to then spend most of that time glued to their phones. It also baffles me because I don’t see women from other professions insisiting on friendships because their work might be similar. And so on the brink of another year concluding, I have made a vow to not care what is happening in the world of influencers or how popular I might be in comparison to all the others. I have never been and will never be the most popular, not at school, not with men, not at parties… to me it doesn’t matter. I’d rather evolve in my own ways. I’ve never been a person to demand attention, if you’re interested, we can form a friendship, if you aren’t, I don’t much mind either. I am not here online in hopes many people will like me. What I’m saying is I will not fight for more attention and that really does seem the priority of influencing: not what or how you might be an influence, but how much attention it generates. Well, as I said before, I’ll pass on that, thanks. I also will honour you kind souls, who are not followers, I refuse that title for you, but more, friends – many of whom have far more interesting, successful lives than I. To put you down as ‘followers’ feels condescending. I look up to many of you in the same way you might admire me. This is why I still create a lot of content, unsponsored; my beauty, personal writing and most recently my advice on designer vintage? They actually cost me money to produce because I have to pay my assistant and there is the time, and it’s a lot of time I put into writing and editing. But I love doing it because I adore this outlet and sharing with you. In the same way I’ve passed up collaborations for quadruple figures with brands that you know I would never buy myself. Sure, I’d love to have that extra money to blow in Ibiza next summer, but ultimately I respect myself but also you, and to do that would weaken the bond I try so hard to forge here. And yes, many of my posts are sponsored but many of them aren’t and I do have to feed myself. And so as we move ino 2018, a year I hope to finally move forward with new professional dreams but also, a new website in the making for Frassy, which will veer very far from the traditional blog format and into something that I hope will showcase not only posts like these, but my photography and writing too. Because what really keeps me here, a decade later, is yes, partly the money to claim otherwise would be hypocritical. And it’s not so much the sum of money but the fact that I can dedicate a lot of my life to what I love while living in a warm apartment and being able to afford organic nut butters. But what mostly keeps me here? It’s the creativity. And that is what I will prioritize for as long as this website stands. And quite like the jean size I wear, the number doesn’t matter much to me, it’s what my thighs can do that I worry about. And the damn same thing could be said for my role here as ‘influencer’ or ‘blogger’. Ultimately, numerical values don’t entice me, in fact I find them tedious, boring. And that I suppose is perhaps the best summary of who I am here on this screen today and for all the days ahead.