My sunglasses are too big, you say? Well the crowds out on the streets are bigger and far more offensive than the frames on my head. Christmas shopping is a circus and not the fun, silly kind.Genuinely, most things in life are better conducted off screen, conversations with friends, books and so on, however there is one exception: shopping. My absolute preference is to buy via screen, underneath the comfort of an elasticated waistband with feet dangling out of slippers. The streets of a city for me, are for cafes and coffees or late lengthy lunches, or an enjoyable walk to the park, not hauling bags down block after block dodging people while wondering why there is sweat under my arms. No thanks. But with the inevitable ‘too soon until Christmas online shipping’ conundrum, I was obligated to nip out to frantically finish the last of my shopping. I say nip, but into the streets I didn’t casually dip, no it was a solid few hours staring and considering objects manically interspered with texts such as ‘would your mom prefer chocolates or candles?’ or pestering one brother about my other’s brother shoe size, concluding in a pitiful text plea to a friend urging her to meet me for wine because shopping in crowded stores is terrfyingly stress-inducing.
Despite my family being a cluster of weirdos, I’ve known them my entire life which makes gift choosing for them a sixth sense. But when it comes to the other people in my life, boyfriend included – the process of present choosing becomes far more perilous. Truthfylly, I have no idea and as the number of shops I wandered around increased, my clarity further clouded thus resulting in a selection of painfully generic gifts. I didn’t go as far as socks or scarves, but chocolates, candles, a mug or two from Zara Home all came home with me and are still waiting to be wrapped. Oh, well it is the thought that counts and that is how I will console my weak attempts at perfect presents. On a blister note, I am mystified as to why I deemed heels a suitable shoe choice, I am a fool. At the very least they are gold, which I hope will reflect away from my much less sparkly bank account after spending yet more money on more gifts. Ah, Christmas.